Author's Club

I killed Jacob today.

This is my confession. I put my life into your hands. Read this and judge what my crime is. But let me tell you that I had to. The pressure was unbearable. I did not do it willingly I assure you.

The day of my terrible deed started off with a gang meeting with myself presiding as president. Every member was giving a report of their week’s happenings. Nothing unusual came up at first. Joanne had another affair, James’ ex showed up, Hilary was stuck on island (at least it wasn’t another snow storm), and so on and so forth. It was routine and I was just going to say that this week I was building Jacob’s character. I knew there were elections coming up and I realized that it wasn’t riveting, but my position was not in contention. At least that was what I thought.

But then the bomb was dropped. Dan had been fired and was going through a serious crisis. The “oohs” and “ahhs” echoed around the table. “Poor Dan.” “What was his girlfriend going to do?” “Was he going to go on welfare?” All the focus was on Dan, and I knew that if I didn’t do something my place Dan’s plight would sway the vote and my position as the president of the Author’s Club was at stake.

I had been president for nearly five years now with little competition. That changed when Janet had joined us with Dan. Dan was likeable and relatable, but, at least for me, hateable. Dan worked in an office that crushed his creative instincts. He rose above his occupation, however, and he occasionally showed creativity when he was with his supportive girlfriend. He had sung to her on their anniversary. He had drawn a portrait of her to apologize for an argument. He had even taken up reading poetry a couple months ago at her suggestion. Now that he was free from his stifling career as a number processor every reader would want to know whether Dan would now finally pursue the arts. Maybe he would go back to school or maybe he would set up a studio in his apartment. The possibilities were endless. What was building character compared to being fired? I began to feel uncomfortable.

Janet, obviously, had planned this plot twist to be directly before the election. She was challenging me. My blood boiled. No one challenged the author of the best-selling novel “Around Wisconsin in 80 Days”. Rachel, the heroine, was a city girl from New York, had come to live with her aunt in Wisconsin. While there, Rachel had met a country hick named Jacob.

Rachel and Jacob were soul mates. As such they fell helplessly in love and were married at the end of the novel. Now in the sequel, they had moved to New York and were adjusting to city life. The focus was now on Jacob and his emotional struggle between wanting to be with Rachel and his love of his home town in Wisconsin.

The story had its interesting twists, but now I needed something quick to recapture the focus. My mind quickly scrambled for ideas. Rachel was already pregnant, an affair wasn’t big enough anymore. It needed to be big. Bigger then getting a pet. Bigger then in-laws coming to town. Everyone was looking at me waiting for my report. The pressure and the stress oppressed me. I need air to breathe creatively. But, like any experienced author I rose to the challenge. I opened my mouth and blurted out. “Jacob’s going to die.”

I wanted shock, and shock was what I got. “How? When? Where? How does Rachel react?” The questions were endless. I told them that details were not yet ready, but would be soon. They spent the rest of the meeting discussing poor Rachel over their skinny soy lattes, but my mind wandered.

It had been an act of desperation. It had been done in the moment with a large amount of pressure on me. Now that I had leisure to consider what I had done I was conflicted.

I wanted to be re-elected, that I knew. But was it really worth killing over? What would Rachel do? Of course, Rachel could never love again. Rachel and Jacob were soul mates. Rachel should probably consider suicide, but decide against it because of the child in her. So now I have sentenced a poor child to grow up fatherless and with a mother who would always be in mourning.

How would I kill Jacob anyways? My stomach churned as I considered my options. He must die painlessly I decided. Maybe a bus could hit him. I mentally groaned in frustration. I was just bringing more people into this. The poor bus driver would be scarred for life, and all the passengers would probably need shock counseling.
The meeting broke up and I returned to my apartment. I fed the cat, emptied my dishwasher, and made myself some espresso; anything to avoid the task before me.

Finally, I faced the inevitable. I opened my laptop and stared at what I had written yesterday. Jacob had just got out of sticky situation in a back alley. I pressed enter and took a deep breath.

I could still go back. I had not written the words yet. Maybe Jacob didn’t have to die. I could go back and tell the gang that I had changed my mind. He’s just in a coma and will be back soon.

That was too common. I needed the shock. I was going to be demoted to vice-president if I changed my mind. My paths were clear: kill Jacob or lose my position.

I closed my eyes took a deep breath and wrote the damning words.

“As Jacob ran breathlessly away from the alley his mind filled with the beautiful image of Rachel. She was his life, his breath, his all. Her shimmering skin, her flowing hair, her playful smile; these were the aspects he dwelled on. Unfortunately, these were the thoughts that became his last thoughts.

He foolishly raced across the street forgetting to look both ways. The bus driver screamed as she slammed the brakes. The passengers grabbed onto their seats as they were thrown forward. A stranger leapt forward to push Jacob out of the way.
It was all in vain. Jacob lay there in the street with no breath left in his still body. His death had been painless and his last thought pleasant. He would go on into the distance waiting for the love of his existence to follow. Rachel, however, would feel pain and her thoughts would not be pleasant as she would plod through her dreary existence knowing that the one man that completed her waited at the end of her journey called life. Time would become her enemy. Her love for Jacob her only comfort.”


These are the facts. This is all the evidence. You see what a terrible position I was in. I apologize to any who I had hurt. I never meant to do you harm. This re-election will be a bitter sweet victory. Rachel may look at me accusingly, but I hope that one day she will understand that it is in her best interest as well to continue to be a best seller. The only path that I saw to this end was one that included Jacob’s death.