The grey dot depression

Tabitha Ewert 17 November at 23:24
Part 1: The problem

Fear gripped her heart as her eyes grew wide with terror. This couldn't be happening, this was not possible, this was inconceivable! What was she to do? What could she do? She was left there helpless and alone. She felt the panic rise up in her as she pressed refresh repeatedly hoping against her better judgement that she was wrong.

But she wasn't wrong. That little green facebook chat dot had gone grey...for good.

Part 2: The spiral begins

Ahh I wait and I wait. Loneliness fills every part of my withering heart. I attempt to distract my mind with schools papers, youtube videos, newsfeed, and solitaire, but yet I long for something more. Is it really so much to ask? What is a color anyways? Are not all colors merely light? That little grey dot sitting there beside your name depicting all the darkness of my loneliness and throwing it in my face.

And I all I want is for the signal to turn green so I may go.

And yet it remains grey. The color of dreay aloneness that forces me to resort to writing on your wall or sending you a message. I may fill your inbox and clutter your wall, but all I really want--

Is a green dot.

Part 3: The spiral continues: denial

I don't care. I don't care at all. Those dots could be grey all day long, and see if it bothers me.

I don't even like you. Talking to you would be a trial. I'd have to actually type and concentrate on a semi-meaningful train of conversation. And you'd probably talk about yourself! How droll. I'll just sit here and talk to myself. At least my life is interesting.

Maybe I'll look over the past month's news feeds. I might even think about that research paper that is due tomorrow.

Haha, who am I fooling? I'll just watch youtube videos.

See? Who needs those little green dots anyways! I am moving on with my life.

Wait did that dot turn green? Oh, trick of the light. Sigh. I wish it was green...

Part 4: The spiral continues: desperation

Ok, ok. I admit it. I need the green dot. My life has no meaning without it. I can't sit here talking to myself. I've seen every youtube video and there is only so many times one can watch the Numa Numa song without going crazy.

Come back, please. My sanity depends on it. I'm sorry I said you were droll. I was wrong. Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease come back. I need that dot to turn green.

Part 5: The spiral hits rock bottom

Nothingness

Meaninglessness

Aloneness

The blank, empty infinite space of grey dots.

Why bother going on it? Is a life with no green dots even worth living? They say it is better to have chatted and gone off-line then to have never chatted at all, but I wish I'd never have chatted at all. I've fallen from so far to this depth of abyss.

I don't know if I even care if that dot turns green. Nothing will ever fix that grey-dot shaped scar in my heart.

Aloneness

Meaninglessness

Nothingness